Everything That Happened Had Its Own Logic—The Moral of My Story Was To Grow, Regardless

By Phamela Boutdakham

I want to share my short journey along the pathway to doing the right thing. I try to live by following the logic of my life. That said, everything I write here does not mean I'm an expert in some larger "Code of All Life" or something like that—this is just my personal experience. To describe myself, I am an international student. I moved to Connecticut in 2014, and have lived here for over ten years now. My background is that I'm from East Asia, specifically from Laos. My country is a land of Buddhists. I grew up with strict family rules because of the larger culture there. This and simply my basic personality or nature made me a polite person. The majority of people around me also say that I'm a quiet person. However, although I'm not very talkative, I am a good listener.

Furthermore, I like listening to people's stories because they enrich and clarify my own experience. I have learned lessons from their story and from their experience. When I have analyzed an overall situation, I have felt as if I knew the real-life situation. We can learn equally from others' experiences or our daily lives. I think that indeed, everything around us is a good life lesson. 

However, I have often still asked myself: how can we live a good life? What defines a "Happy Life”? Have you ever asked yourself the same question as I did? These questions made me understand myself better, because yes: I like to talk to myself to recheck my feelings. This has helped me solve problems in my life, and realize who I am and who I want to be. As we all know, people are different, and there are many types of people. We can define people as good or bad, kind or selfish. I am happy to give to others, and I appreciate accepting others as well.

Every life experience has taught me a lot; it has made me a better person and opened my vision to many other methods of living and understanding people around me. Human lives have many flavors: sweet, sour, and bitter. Nevertheless, I can live anywhere, be happy, and shine as I am.

This has been a big step in my life since I moved to the United States. All those who have ever been in a similar situation as an immigrant will probably know what I mean. Moving to an unfamiliar environment and experiencing culture shock is a very typical trouble and problem for anyone living in a new country. There are essential things that all newcomers must learn when interacting with others. Let me just say that when I heard the expression "life is not a piece of cake," I thought of the tasty icing—indeed those new social experiences aren't always so sweet!

I know that everybody has a unique story. Everybody has had a different journey at some level. In the past ten years, I have had a chance to see many things I have accomplished in this country. This reflection has helped me to grow in new directions and cultivate a positive mindset. I am so glad I have had an excellent opportunity to learn at Tunxis Community College (now CT State Tunxis). I have stepped out of my old habits to open up and learn new things—from joining a club, to learning in general how to help and communicate with many people from different countries and cultures.

Recently, I have been thinking about ethics. This has grown my critical thinking and philosophy. I have learned different perspectives of many thinkers and this knowledge I use daily to have a good life. I would say all philosophers have significant perspectives because they have different viewpoints. They have separate purposes for presenting their beliefs. They have provided reasonable explanations about the logic of moral choices.

All that said, I have found myself relating most to Aristotle’s perspective. His view is that the only way we can have lasting happiness ("Eudaimonia" in Greek) is to strive to reach real excellence or virtue ("Areté" in Greek)—by first observing what clearly produces good results around us....and then practicing that ourselves. And I can start to see my beautiful, cheerful soul inside of myself through this idea of eudaimonia.

For me, altogether it's been an extraordinary experience I have had since I moved here. I have learned and tried many essential things, such as diverse cultures, beautiful languages, food, and ways of living. The last one is not the least— I am actually so glad for all the problems I have faced in my life, because they have made me be me. I am a person who never gives up on any life situation or issue I have had throughout my life. I am not perfect, and I do not believe there is anyone else alive who is that either. I like a quote I encountered recently (yes, it was in a meme!): "Life is short. Time is fast. No replays. No rewinds. So enjoy every moment as it comes."

Everything and everyone has two sides, always. I have learned not to compare myself to others because we have grown up in various places and backgrounds. I constantly remind myself that I should be happy with what I have and not be lazy to learn a new skill—so that I can improve. I still repeat to myself daily, "Do not forget to be friendly and kind to yourself. You can handle how to make yourself happy and have a good life by your own hands."

Phamela Boutdakham is a sophomore at CT State Tunxis.